i want kids. i want them now because when i was little all the cousins were close and all played together it was some of my greatest memories. i want 4 kids hoping for two boys and two girls so each has a brother and a sister but its of no matter if they are boys or girls that's just my hope. 4 kids is a lot these days but i think its a good number. hoping for roughly a year apart so they aren't so far apart i like they way me and my brother and sister are close to 3 between each kid but my sister had kids and is done having kids already my brother i don't think will have anymore id be surprised if he did and then there is me no kids no gf not even a shadow of a glimpse of a woman in my life. of all the things i care about that is what kills me inside everyday. knowing that my kids will be spaced between my brother and sisters so far. i hate the way other people tell other people how to raise their kids or this worked for us so it should work for you. im not looking forward to that. although sometimes i will want to do it myself but i hold my tongue.
i want my kids to have a real love for learning and passion for life and the outdoors i want my kids to be farm kids essentially but that would mean i have to be a farmer and well im no farmer by anyones standards but i would love to live on a farm and have my own business that i run out of a shop that i build on my land i want lots of open space and freedom for kids to explore and discover. i have thought many times my ideal would be my job is more of just a hobby and im more of a stay at home father. ofcourse when the kids are small i wouldn't do much other than raise them but once they are old enough to play outside on their own then i could rediscover woodworking. i also will have my private pilot license maybe even an airstrip on my land. this is all ideal but i have a time line and i don't wanna be an old man when my kids graduate. i don't want to reach 50 before my last kid graduates so 50-5yrs roughly-18yrs= which means 27 for my first child minimum.
i realise i kinda talk like my life will be put on hold for my kids and it should be really because im raising people to represent my legacy and they will be a reflection of my qualities as a father. at least thats how i feel i am towards my father it makes me filled with joy to see him proud of me and my mom too i like to be able to impress them and show them what they have done its my driving force.
